Second Place

I love having guy friends. My boys are my best friends. But I'm really getting tired of "not counting" and always coming in second place behind girls who will make out with them and be whores. Just because I'm not an idiot, I can take care of myself, etc. etc., I don't get to count? Well that's bullshit. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I have a secret crush on one of my guy friends, I don't want to "count" for them, but I just feel like they take advantage of the fact that I'm a girl but I'm not like the rest of them. And what makes it worse, they only go for those girls that, in their minds, do count. If all you do is whine about girls like that, why do you keep picking them? It's crap and I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of being the backup plan or the one that gets cast aside when something else comes up. I've come to expect the rejection and the last minute ditch. I'm used to it. Oh, someone else needs to be walked home? Sure, I don't care. I'm not one of your best friends, I won't care if you leave me by myself. No, that's fine by me. I just don't matter and I'm so tired of it. I DO matter.

I just want to be appreciated for who I am. I AM a girl. I want to be complimented when I look nice, I want to be treated with respect. And just because I'm not gonna get offended if you make a joke or because I can drive a car just as well as you or because I don't make out with different guys every weekend doesn't mean I'm not still a girl. You say you don't want me to be those girls, but yet you treat me like the second side dish. Oh, my entree comes with two sides? In that guess, I guess I'll take the mashed potatoes too. I don't want to be the damn mashed potatoes anymore. Just because I'm there and I'm convenient doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt when you leave me or ditch me. Our friendship means more to ME than that, but obviously it doesn't mean more to you.

I'm so done. The guys I want are the ones that don't want me. The ones I just can't date are the ones who do. I hate this.

T